Franchi(sing): Band Your Brand

Don’t believe me? Enter Mac Sabbath.

Imagine four guys dressed up as McDonald’s mascots (Ronald, Grimace, Mayor McCheese, Hamburgler – the gang’s all here) playing food-related tunes that parody popular Black Sabbath songs (“Iron Man” becomes “Frying Pan” – you get the idea).

It’s an incredibly limited shtick, but I’d be lying if I said it didn’t make me smile. And with so many terrible bands populating open mic nights across this great nation of ours, if anything, I’d be happy to pay a cover charge and fulfill a two-drink minimum to see these guys. Whether I was laughing, cringing, headbanging or all three, chances are I’d be entertained.

With that said, this display of drive-thru metal got me thinking about what other forms franchise-based musicianship could take.

According to one 1851 contributor, Popeyes would obviously be a zydeco band. Meanwhile, I assume Subway would be an improvisational jazz trio – each product is different from the last and made based on the whims of its creator, after all.

Another member of our office was more focused on pun possibilities. He maintained IHOP would have to be a Kriss Kross cover band that played “Jump” (weirdly enough, IHOP is currently advertising its “criss-croissants”).

Buffalo Springfield jumps to mind when I think of Buffalo Wings & Rings, but the brand’s commitment to flavor has me leaning toward G. Love & Special Sauce. Then again, the same could be said for Slim Chickens (that many handmade dipping sauces is nothing to sneeze at).

At the very least I think we can agree that Back Yard Burgers would play something with a tropical twist. I mean, no summer BBQ is complete without a playlist that calls to mind warm weather and good times. Harry Belafonte, hands down.